These pages are full of what makes Penny Penny. Lots of crafts, rants, and fan girling.

How to sew 2 costumes in 3 days

Stay up very late the night before finishing most of Mike's Samurai Jack costume. Marvel at how brilliant you are for coming up with it.

Leave your pins on the ironing board. When you knock them over with the iron cord, leave the iron FACE DOWN on what you're ironing while you pick up your pins.

If you notice that you need more pieces of a certain pattern piece suggests than the pattern says you'll need...ignore it, cut more. Make abnormally small casings for the EIGHT MILES of sleeve you need to put elastic in, and then give yourself an embolism trying to make them look nice, and turning 1/8 inch hems so your elastic will still fit through. Wonder how in the hell you will get the 1/4 inch elastic through without tearing your hair out. Remember that Bobbie has the miracle Bias Tube Turner. Get one for $2.99 with your discount, and then wonder why in the hell you've been turning your tubes right side out with a knitting needle for so long.

Eat only an instant breakfast that day. Keep your blood sugar going with Tootsie Pops and DumDums. And one 20 oz Mountain Dew. Marvel at how well the blue raspberry Tootsie Pop matches your shirt.

blue raz

Finish the costume blouse (complete with two, count them, TWO! iron burns!) Try it on with the corset you made. Stuff the corset in the corner because it's short and pooches out in the armpit area. Be upset because that took the longest to make! Remember you have a corset in your bottom drawer from that charity thing. Marvel at how well your Tootsie Pop matches your corset.

blue 2

If you run out of time, and you haven't hemmed your very full point skirt, don't hem it. No one will ever notice.

Remember that you have a bandanna that also matches your Tootsie Pop (oops, onto grape by then) and that it will very effectively be a way to cover your hair AND that nasty zit on your forehead.

Be very very proud of the costumes you made, and then go to a party full of school teachers with small children. (Other than the kids, we were the youngest ones there.) Be bored out of your mind while parents talk about reading levels and teaching aids. Wonder why in the world you didn't bring something to knit. Imbibe the spirits so generously offered by your hosts. And eat lots of pizza, shrimp, mini cupcakes and candy. Be completely grateful that you did not throw up, and left the party completely sober. Just with a rotten tummy ache. (Good pictures later, be patient!)

Respect the Pink!

Still waiting? Or waiting again?